“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

This quote, which some have attributed to Chicken Soup for the Soul author and speaker Jack Canfield, is a powerful one that has been making the rounds on social networking sites and through other venues in recent weeks.

And it touches on an idea we’ve been talking about and writing about for years: That we as leaders need to regularly think about who we spend the most time with and how those people in our inner circle shape our outlooks and even actions. 

Go ahead. Think about the five people that you spend the most time with during an average week. Now, think about each of these people and consider the following:

• Does this person bring positive energy into your life, allowing you to see and reach your full potential? Or, do they leave you feeling discouraged, doubting your potential and what you are able to accomplish?
•  Does this person share your values and goals, or does he bring unhealthy distractions, which might prevent you from reaching your full potential?
• Does this person help to bring peace and meaning to your life, or is she constantly stirring up chaos through rumors, untruths, and other unnecessary distractions and drama?
• Does this person celebrate your successes with you, or does she secretly (or not so secretly!) hope to see you fail so that she can feel better about her own troubled circumstances and misguided decisions?
• Do you find yourself spending time with this person because you truly look forward to it, or are you merely stuck in a pattern or fulfilling a perceived obligation?

Is it time to make some changes? If so, consider how you might scale back or even eliminate the time you spend with your negative influences. And then, identify how you might go about replacing these negative people with more positive influences.

Remember, you have control over who deserves a slot within your inner circle. And by exercising this control, you also are shaping the person that you are becoming.