The Importance of Talking to Young People About Happiness

When you ask people across cultures what they want for themselves and children, you typically get the same answer: To be happy.

This is at the heart of the New York Times bestselling book by Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project.

And the book has us thinking a great deal about happiness – and how rarely we really talk to young people about the idea.

Think about it: So often, we talk to our young people about the importance of success. Of financial stability. Of having strong, healthy relationships.

But at the heart of all of that is the idea that we want our young people to be happy – to be people who enjoy and appreciate all that their lives have to offer.

How can young people begin to create happier lives for themselves?

• By taking the focus off of themselves and onto those around them. We know that the people who are happiest in life are generally the people who are not aggressively chasing their own personal happiness, but striving instead to help others. People who volunteer in meaningful programs are consistently happier and have a greater sense of personal fulfillment than those who do not.
• By building meaningful connections with people. Those of us who are happiest, research has repeatedly shown, have healthy relationships. We know how to communicate our ideas and needs with the people in our lives, and we are able to understand what is being communicated to us by others.
• By understanding that self-worth and joy must come primarily from within. When we talk to people about their marriages and relationships, one thing we often notice is that those who are looking to others to make them happy are generally the most miserable. We need to help our young people to take responsibility for themselves and their pursuit of happiness.
• By being grateful for the things that they do have, instead of focusing on what they do not. Life is not easy. There are times when we will be disappointed because we long for things we cannot quite seem to attain. In these times, it is important to be able to focus on gratitude. We can be thankful for many of the seemingly little things in life, like our health, the food we have to eat, the shelter that keeps us warm, the co-workers who offer us support in trying times. The more we appreciate these things, the more likely we are to find happiness.

Talking to young people about success is valuable, of course. But talking to young people about happiness – and how they might go about finding some measure of it – is also an important part of our efforts to help them to grow into healthy adults.