What a Difference a Letter Makes: You Can't Be BETTER Until You Stop Being BITTER

We’ve been thinking a lot lately about bitterness – and the idea that there is just one letter difference between “bitter” and “better.”

What’s that letter?

The letter I.

This is a powerful concept, since it reminds us that, ultimately, the decision to let go of past hurts and injustices is a deeply personal one.

In our day-to-day work with young people and their mentors, we often encounter people who speak with great emotion about things that have happened in their pasts. Many of these people have every reason in the world to be bitter. Often, family members or “friends” have abused them in one way or another, or life has dealt them some tragically unfair blows. They have been deeply hurt and trusting others or staying positive is difficult.

But in choosing to move beyond bitterness, they are helping themselves to build a better life for themselves.

Why should we let go of bitterness as part of our effort to become better?

• Holding on to hurt and anger instead of forgiving has serious emotional and physical consequences. Research consistently shows that people who remain bitter are more likely to suffer from problems including depression, stomach problems, anxiety disorders, headaches, high blood pressure and heart disease. Bitterness corrodes our bodies and minds -- from the inside out.
• What we project outwardly is what we attract. Healthy, happy people may be well intentioned and want to help, but the truth is that like attracts like. People who are bitter are not pleasant to be around. They tend to repel the very people who can bring more positive things to their lives. And at the same time, they attract other bitter people. Misery, after all, loves company.
•  Letting go of bitterness allows us to help others. One thing we know about young people is they appreciate and are drawn to authenticity. It is difficult to be a positive role model to the young people in our lives when we are mired in bitterness – even if we think we are hiding it.
• Eliminating bitterness frees up our energy and attention. Carrying a grudge takes a lot out of us. What could you do with all of that extra time and energy? Figure that out, and move in that direction!

Clearly, resolving bitterness is an important – and deeply personal – process. You may find that seeking help from a mental health professional or a wise friend can help get you moving in the right direction.

Today, take a step toward a BETTER you – begin to leave BITTER you behind!