People Can Give Only What They Have to Give

Often, it is easy to become frustrated with people in our lives who disappoint us. Maybe it’s our friends, co-workers, spouses, parents, children, or other family members.

It is tempting, at times, to linger in this sense of disappointment and frustration, or to try to nag and badger the person who has disappointed us, hoping to bring about change.

But the simple truth is, people often do not give us what we need because they don’t have it in themselves to give.

We often see this with the young people in our lives. How often do they fail to give us respect, not because they are trying to disappoint us, but simply because they have never been shown respect themselves? And how often are we surprised by their lack of interest in supporting a person, program or project? Could it be that they are not supportive because they have never been shown support?

Think about it: How often do we want people to acknowledge us for our accomplishments, when the truth is that they cannot do this because they are still too focused on what they perceive as their own shortcomings and feelings of inequity?

Instead of dwelling in our disappointment and allowing it to wear on us, we should try to understand the areas where the person we care about is depleted. Then, we can choose to do what we can, within reason, to help replenish that person, so that they are able to give us – and others – what they need.

This, ultimately, makes us all happier, healthier and more empowered.